Living someone else dream

I am from the middle east, from a very big family who have roots in Jordan, Palestine, Egypt. As a female from a big family, I was raised to behave.  I wasn’t allowed to laugh loudly because it considers unpolite.

I am sure my mum and dad had a very hard time raising me, I am a hand full, naughty, have my own mind. Having them as my parents weren’t also easy for me, but I always said to myself: they are raising me the way they knew, and they want me to be good woman.

If I ever asked my mum and dad what is your dream for me: their answer will be: get a good education, get married and have a family.  These are the society dreams or expectations for every female.

If you ever asked me what you want to be: my answer would be: belly dancer, a dream I never dare to say loudly, because according to my family rules belly dancing is not respectful thing at all, showing so much skin and doing they sexy moves is not a thing that they will accept for me to do.

I remember once my mum told me before doing to a wedding party: dance respectfully. I didn’t understand what that suppose to mean. And till today I don’t know what dancing respectfully would mean.

I know I lose my senses with dancing, I become another person who forgets about family, rules, reputations. I just dance.

I grow up, graduated from the university with a master degree in computer science, got married and had a family. My degree helped me in migrating to Australia. But those things never fulfill me, they aren’t my dream, they were someone else dream. They are the society, culture and family dreams and standard to the successful woman.

At the age of 40, everything fell apart, I got divorce. I decided that I don’t want to peruse my career in computer science. It is so stressful for me.  Honestly, I was lost, I lost hope, faith, I don’t have any vision or dream for the future.

The universe sent me some people to help me, a group of spiritual people whom with their help I restore the meaning of life again. One of my spiritual teachers told me: do the things that make you happy. It took me a while to put dancing in my list again as one of the things that makes me happy.

To my surprise not only whenever I am down, I put some music and lose myself with dancing, but I start to teach people how to be happy. To open the bag that they put all the happy memories and thing that they love to do in life and forget about it and bring it again to their lives.

Uh, I also laugh loudly, as loud as I can, and I don’t care what people may say.

Today I am a spiritual healer, teacher, and counselor. A job not only fulfills me but makes me happy, a job in which I am living my dream.

To know more about me, please visit:  http://www.healingpillars.com.au/