Wednesday, 2 January 2019

Living someone else dream



I am from the middle east, from a very big family who have roots in Jordan, Palestine, Egypt. As a female from a big family, I was raised to behave.  I wasn’t allowed to laugh loudly because it considers unpolite.

I am sure my mum and dad had a very hard time raising me, I am a hand full, naughty, have my own mind. Having them as my parents weren’t also easy for me, but I always said to myself: they are raising me the way they knew, and they want me to be good woman.
If I ever asked my mum and dad what is your dream for me: their answer will be: get a good education, get married and have a family.  These are the society dreams or expectations for every female.

If you ever asked me what you want to be: my answer would be: belly dancer, a dream I never dare to say loudly, because according to my family rules belly dancing is not respectful thing at all, showing so much skin and doing they sexy moves is not a thing that they will accept for me to do.


I remember once my mum told me before doing to a wedding party: dance respectfully. I didn’t understand what that suppose to mean. And till today I don’t know what dancing respectfully would mean.

I know I lose my senses with dancing, I become another person who forgets about family, rules, reputations. I just dance.

I grow up, graduated from the university with a master degree in computer science, got married and had a family. My degree helped me in migrating to Australia. But those things never fulfill me, they aren’t my dream, they were someone else dream. They are the society, culture and family dreams and standard to the successful woman.

At the age of 40, everything fell apart, I got divorce. I decided that I don’t want to peruse my career in computer science. It is so stressful for me.  Honestly, I was lost, I lost hope, faith, I don’t have any vision or dream for the future.

The universe sent me some people to help me, a group of spiritual people whom with their help I restore the meaning of life again. One of my spiritual teachers told me: do the things that make you happy. It took me a while to put dancing in my list again as one of the things that makes me happy.

To my surprise not only whenever I am down, I put some music and lose myself with dancing, but I start to teach people how to be happy. To open the bag that they put all the happy memories and thing that they love to do in life and forget about it and bring it again to their lives.

Uh, I also laugh loudly, as loud as I can, and I don’t care what people may say.
Today I am a spiritual healer, teacher, and counselor. A job not only fulfills me but makes me happy, a job in which I am living my dream.


To know more about me, please visit:  http://www.healingpillars.com.au/








Saturday, 10 November 2018

The most important human assets


Have you ever wake up from a deep sleep wondering where you are or even who you are! I don’t know if this is a nice feeling, but for me it happened and it was an amazing feeling. Here what happened:


Last month I had an operation, it was very simple one but since I will be under general anesthesia I was afraid. From what? I don’t know. I wasn’t afraid from passing away since I am not afraid of death, but maybe I was afraid from discovering illness in my body and start the journey of healing myself, which is still very tricky for me.


Before going to the operation room, I pray to GOD and ask the spirits to take care of me during the operation. I surrendered myself completely to the universe believing that what will happen is part of my soul journey on the earth and I will be taken care of.

When I waked up, I heard the nurse saying: “Look at her, she is smiling”. Yes, I was smiling, I was aware of that and aware of my body. But there was that feeling that I am different, something had changed. I can’t remember any dream while I was sleeping during the operation, but I was sure that something had happened. I asked the nurse how the operation went, and she affirmed that everything was ok.

The very next week after the operation I started noticing the change in the way I am thinking and I took one of the most important decisions in my life: to flip the page of the last chapter of my past, and restart fresh and new, not afraid of judgments or any implications. I was ready to face the whole world with my new beliefs. I know it is scary and painful but not more painful than hiding behind my finger.

I set myself free from any religious belief or culture custom that doesn’t resonate with me a long time back, but it is the time to say it loud.
Even though I don’t know what happened during the operation, what ride I had been to. But what I am sure about is that my prayers had been answered and the universe took very good care of me.  
  
Beliefs and choices are the most important human assets, no one has the right to judge you, guide you or force you to change them. You have the right to create your life and live it according to your beliefs and choices. Forget about what we have been raised upon and what your guardians and culture had injected into your brain and make your own life.



To know more about me, please visit:  http://www.healingpillars.com.au/